Who We Are
by freetodream4now
Summary: We, the students of Hogwarts. We, demigods. Imagine. We stand, united in our separation. Who are we? It's us, the ones forgotten on the sidelines. The ones who could've done more, but failed. We are haunted by the ones we could have been. We are the ones who don't know who we are. Maybe we were just waiting until we found each other.
1. Prologue

**_Prologue:_**

 **Nico**

 _"…_ _It was like walking through hell._

 _No, it was walking through hell. Tartarus. There was so much fire. It can't seem to leave my head,_

 _you know?_

 _The monsters, the wailing, the searing burn of the river water as it entered my body, supposedly to keep me alive._

 _Does this count as living? So many times, I think it is now a part of me. The fire river?_

 _It's in my blood._

 _The searing air— it's in my lungs, with every breath I take. The voice of Tartarus, he's in my head._

 _And I'm afraid…_

 _... and I'm afraid, whenever the darkness surrounds me every night and I open my eyes…_

 _that I'll still be there,_

 _in that darkness."_

Nico cried out and sat upright in his bed. He was sweating, he was cold, his whole body was trembling from the chill of fever that was broiling in his mind. He swung his legs over the side of the bed. His bare feet touched the cold stone floor of the Hades cabin, and the blatant shock of its chill jolted all thoughts that had arisen in his sleeping stupor. Blankly, he stumbled out of bed and across to the cracked mirror.

Panting heavily, he gripped the edges of the cold marble counter with white knuckles and stared transfixed and despondently into the smudged and shadowy glass. The face staring back at him was the face of death itself - gaunt, lean, haggard. Pale as the waxen lifeless and just as cold... his eyes glittering hollowly like broken shards of pure black glass. His hair hanging stringy and limp across his tormented expression. It was the look that had been his since as long as he could remember.

Since his mother died. And the pain only had only ever gotten worse.

What was he doing here? Nico knew he'd never belonged here in Camp Half-Blood. It was because of Will, he told himself. But here, in the shadowy draft cabin where the echoes of dreams teetered on the edge of reality, it was impossible to convince himself of this. It was nearly impossible even to imagine even the reality of Will's existence. There was no place for sunniness in the brutal reality of Nico's present moment... the times when the curtains of his carefully concealed emotions were ripped aside in excruciating revelation.

An involuntary shudder arced through his body, a blazing spark of electricity, and Nico nearly collapsed in front of the mirror. He shook his head vehemently, desperately, but the screams were breaking through the thin muted barrier that blocked them from the present, growing louder and harsher. The wails, the moans, the fire...oh, the fire. His cheeks were burning up, his cracked lips parted in a groan of agony. His spidery white fingers trembled uncontrollably, and his thin weak knees buckled beneath his pajama pants. Nico wildly looked straight at the mirror, staring directly into his own eyes.

I'm going mad, he thought blankly, emotionlessly. A fact. And then his face crumpled into nothingness as Nico tumbled limply beside the bed stand. He was drifting out of consciousness... were those footsteps...? Then... darkness.


	2. See You Again

_**(Author's Note:) If the characters seem OOC, feel free to tell me in the reviews how I can improve them! But I will try to stick to minor characters who I feel have room for some character development and those who lend to the best identity crisis :) After all - even in stories - we want who know Who We Are...**_

 _ **(Author's Note pt. 2:) The plot may start slow during establishment of the story. Don't worry, the crossover of worlds will come soon!**_

 **Reyna**

Reyna had been driving mindlessly - that must have been how she ended up at the strawberry patch in that specific location. Although why her car had died precisely _here_ \- in the middle of nowhere -! If it was a ploy by the gods... Muttering something quite uncomplimentary under her breath, Reyna exited the car, yanking her wild dark hair into a messy ponytail as she strode irritably over to the front of her small gray transportation vehicle and yanked the hood up. Instantly, a hiss and rush of steam escaped, causing Reyna to choke and cough. "Overheated," she muttered.

Then, looking around, she seemed to really realize where she was for the first time. And remembered... _oh gods_. Reyna stiffened involuntarily. She hadn't thought about _him_ in months... and now? Had she been thinking of him, and subconsciously allowed her hands to direct the car's steering wheel? Why had she even come this way?

 _I wasn't thinking_ , she insisted to herself. All her preoccupations on due assignments and schoolwork - college was new enough to Reyna; she was still trying to adapt to life without anticipating a monster attack every so often. It was just the stress and distraction - it was messing with her mind and reviving nostalgic memories of the past...

 _Enough_ , Reyna chided herself firmly. You promised yourself you were moving on to a new life; a "normal" life. You said you would give it a try. Who cares about any demigod? Who cares about Nico?

Ouch. The sound of his name ringing in her head hurt worse and brought her right back to the thoughts she was trying to forget. The thoughts of the friendship she and Nico had shared while traveling to bring the Athena Parthenos to Camp Half Blood…and her growing hope of another understanding heart. Reyna had allowed herself to open her heart to that strange, skinny and scrawny black-haired son of Hades. She had allowed herself to _hope_ , allowed herself to become vulnerable. And by doing so, she had violated the one rule that all warriors must keep above all else - she, Reyna Ramirez-Arellano, a warrior, had violated the greatest mandate. She had allowed herself to fall in love.

 _That's_ when she had remembered why a warrior must always keep their walls up.

She was cursed by Venus. Nico di Angelo could never love her. And Reyna was not a true warrior, was she?

Reyna had sought school to distract her from these haunting self-realizations, but now she was in the midst of a mental whirlwind again. Still, Reyna was here - though she knew not why - still she was here at Camp Half-Blood. And accordingly, Reyna was filled with this nagging notion that she should go check on Nico di Angelo. After all, she was at the foot of the camp's hill.

 _Why should I need to "check on him"?_ Reyna argued with herself, attempting to stall, trying desperately to reason herself out of her own inability to reason. _He's probably better off without you, and it's just gonna hurt you._

 _But who knows if he's even here,_ Reyna fired back, vexed at her sensibility. _You ought to know where he is. It's the least any sort of friend would do._ And before Reyna could further talk herself out of it, she had turned her back on her overheated car and was trudging up the hill to the camp.

It was only a little different than she remembered. Passing the dozing dragon at the foot of the camp, she scanned the neat rows of cabins rebuilt after the second Titan War. She had only been here once or twice with Nico, but it was quieter, now without the wars and fighting, or the clamor of rebuild. Other than a few devoted campers unyieldingly going through the routine training motions, the camp was quiet with a sleepy Sunday-morning sensation.

Then, a movement caught her eye. To the left, a boy, almost young man, in doctor scrubs was trekking across the lawn to a house not too far away. Something about his golden sun-streaked hair and open mannerism gnawed at her memory. He was walking closer to her, but was too engrossed on trying to balance whatever was in his arms to notice her. Finally, when he was nearly in front of her, Reyna called out, "Hey! Camper!"

The boy looked up, startled to see a face right before him. "Oh my apologies, I didn't see you." the boy said with a nod. The he did a double take. "Do I know you? You don't look too familiar, but still - I have a terrible memory for faces." He seemed nervous and agitated with an unknown preoccupation, though he continued talking to Reyna, "I'd shake your hand, but I'm trying to get all these medical supplies to the infirmary; we just ran out and I have a patient who is in desperate need of them." Pausing, he added as an afterthought, "Well, I don't actually know how desperate is 'desperate'. Nico is always in there for one reason or another...my dumb boyfriend-"

Reyna, who had been waiting patiently for Will to finished his distracted ramblings, suddenly coughed in shock. "What?!" she spluttered in forgotten dignity, with an explosion of unbridled mixed emotions, a primary one being utter astonishment.

Will looked at her rather oddly and curiously. "Do you know Nico di-" then his bright blue eyes widened in recognition. "Reyna Ramirez-Arellano?"

Reyna froze. No one ever addressed her by her full name, no one except-

After a moment of spinning confusion in which she tried and gave up in the attempt to form comprehensible, analytical connections, she regained her senses and cleared her throat. "Yes. That is my name."

"Ah," Will said, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"How do you know my full name?" she demanded, the flare of stubborn annoyance at the abhorred title momentarily distracting her from the flying thoughts colliding in her head.

"Well," started Will, not quite meeting her eyes, then he shook his head. "You know what? Just follow me. I bet he can explain much better than I can anyway."

Reyna hesitated, equal parts eager and terrified. She wasn't sure she could stand seeing Nico again, even after these few years of separation. Not if Will…

The blond-haired boy was looking out at her expectantly, a shadow of reluctance on his own face. "Look," he started, "I don't know what-"

Reyna shook her head abruptly to cut him off. "No, lead the way." she interjected brusquely. Without another word, Will turned and walked into the infirmary with Reyna marching resolutely behind him.


	3. I Don't Know My Name

When Reyna saw the way Nico's thin body barely raised the hospital bed sheet and the ghostly pallor of his countenance, Reyna gasped. She couldn't stop herself, the sound tumbled from her lips with the shock upon seeing the utter frailty in the form of the one she had once known so well. To her horror, she suddenly lost balance where she stood and swayed dangerously, only prevented from falling by the steadying hand of Will in her shoulder.

"Whoa," murmured Will, "careful now."  
Reyna shrugged off his hand, ignoring the way it remained hovering cautiously behind her. "Really," she muttered, angry at her moment of weakness, "I'm alright. It's just... Well, I haven't seen him in so long."

Will was still looking at her, in a scrutinizing sort of way. _Stupid_! Reyna chided herself. _What have you been reduced to, childish girl, that you swoon and are subject to mental instability? What happened to the warrior?_ However, the warrior in her remained silent, and Reyna sighed heavily, turning back to Will with a sort of defeat.

"What happened." She questioned in a tone that conveyed that no answer was not an option.

"I honestly don't know," Will responded in a weary sort of way, running a hand through his long blond hair, making it stand up higher and adding to his rugged, disheveled appearance. "I was walking past the Hades cabin when I heard a cry, and when I looked in through the window he looked like he was about to faint-" He cut off, as Reyna was shaking her head curtly.

"No, no. Not what happened now. What happened after the end of the Second Titan war? Where did you come into the story? What has been happening to him in these last two years?" Her voice was rising with every question, nearly uncontrollably. The stress of school and the fresh wound of seeing Nico was threatening to force its way out of the neat little package that Reyna had managed to shove to the recesses of her memory.

"Oh," Will sighed, and sat down on a chair against the wall with a thump, where he had evidently been seated earlier. He motioned to another chair for Reyna, who accepted it wordlessly and faced him with a chilly expectance, regaining her nearly lost composure. She was Reyna Ramirez-Arellano, and she was on a mission.

"Well I suppose the story starts-and ends-with this," Will explained, gesturing almost mindlessly to where Nico lay unconscious in the infirmary cot.

"You mean, it's happened before?" demanded Reyna.

"All the time," Will said, unable to prevent the frantic note that tinged his tone. "I mean, all of us campers here at Camp Half-Blood were really affected by the Second Titan War – but Nico… like I said, I don't know. After he arrived at the camp with you and the Athena Parthenos, he definitely appeared on the road to recovery. When Apollo arrived at camp a couple weeks ago —"

Will was cut off by a startled exclamation from Reyna, " _Apollo?_ That god? Here in camp?"

"Yeah," Will said dismissively, "Long story, involving a really weird father-son reunion where my dad was younger than me. Umm – later. Anyway, even when Apollo arrived, Nico definitely seemed normal. That is, until I began to walk the camp in the early morning." He paused, and his eyes unfocused as he was absorbed into his world. "The walks… they helped ease my mind, since my powers have been off ever since Apollo became human. I… I suppose I needed time to think about who I would be if my dad…" he seemed to be stuck on the words, staring in silent, painful scrutiny at his hands; "… if my dad never, you know, returned to Mount Olympus. If I never regained my abilities the way I used to have them."

He was silent so long that Reyna wondered if he'd forgotten she was there. But she didn't interrupt. She knew the pain of being a demigod in Will's position. It was the pain she felt every time she reflected on her childhood… those words that she chanted to herself every time her five-year-old self tried to remember the mother she never knew.

 _Be a warrior, Reyna._

The wolf's eyes penetrated the darkness of her memory – piercing, but not terrifying. No, only harrowingly sad… the eyes that took the place of a loving parent's gaze.

 _Be a warrior, Reyna_. And now that fighting was over, and she had turned her back on fighting? Trying to live a normal life, like a normal human being? Without even Bellona's mark identifying her?

 _Be a warrior…_ But was she a warrior?

 _Be…_

Reyna jumped at when Will's voice cut into the flood of memories that had swamped her with recollections of her past. Now _she_ had forgotten he was there. She reached to rub her itching eye, then realized her eyes were moist. Hastily she turned her head. She was losing control again! _REYNA!_

"Sorry." Will said rather croakily. "I got lost in my thoughts there for a moment." He didn't notice Reyna, and she received the suspicion that she wasn't the only one suffering from a temporary lapse of emotional control. "Anyway," Will said with great difficulty, "it was good that I walked the grounds, whatever my reasons. I had never realized what he experienced most nights."

"Nico?" Reyna asked, her concern for him wiping her personal life away from thought. "Still?"

"Still what?" Will asked, startled. "He still faints?"

"No," Reyna said, "has dreams. I was assuming you would say you could hear them from outside his cabin."

"That's exactly what I was going to say," Will affirmed, his brow creased. "How did you know?"

Reyna was grabbing the ends of her hair in frustration, frustrated at Will for asking, frustrated at Nico for being the stem of the conflict, frustrated at herself for agonizing over buried emotions. Finally, she released a huge breath of air. "Will… I'm so sorry I'm such a mess right now. This is really not what you need, not with Nico in this state."

Will met her eyes with an astonishing severity, his sunny countenance dimmed and the light in his eyes gone. "I don't need you to apologize. I need you to explain everything you know about what is going on with Nico di Angelo. You are not the only one who is in a messy state right now." He gestured meaningfully at Nico, then himself.

Reyna nodded. "I know about the dreams because I traveled with him on my quest to return the Athena Parthenos to Camp Half Blood during the Second Titan War. He would fall asleep… then it was like he was transported to another world. Another world full of shadows and malice, invisible enemies that even he couldn't fight." She realized her fists were clenched together.

"Tartarus." Will's voice cracked. "When Percy and Annabeth fell into that abyss… well, even though they had each other, it broke a part of them. Percy's eyes used to be filled with that funny, mischievous twinkle, but now… it's gone. He cannot un-see Tartarus."

"Nico had no one…" Reyna breathed.

Will agreed mutely. "But I don't know what to do. I don't want to bring it up, and it seems like he doesn't either. Maybe it's not Tartarus that is affecting him. But if there's anything I'm sure of, it's that Nico di Angelo is _not_ all right. He's captured in the grip of something that I fear even I can't treat."

Suddenly, Nico moaned and shifted in the bed. Like he'd been electrocuted, Will jolted to his feet and started to search for the med supplies he had put down while conversing with Reyna, but Nico sighed and was still again. Will stood tensely for a moment, still watching Nico. Then he turned to Reyna. "I'm going to go get some food for him when he wakes up. Besides ambrosia. I'll be back in a little bit."

"Sure," Reyna commented. "I'll be here."

Will was halfway out the door when he turned back, hesitating to ask a question. It was hovering on his lips, and Reyna knew what he'd say before the words slipped from his mouth. "Were you… ever in love with Nico?"

"Was I?" Reyna echoed. She thought she was going to say yes. So she was shocked to hear the words coming from her own mouth. "No… actually no. In love? I don't think so. I know I felt a connection to him, and I feel it now. But I don't think it's love; rather, I felt like we were together in our aloneness. But I don't think I actually know what love is; since I don't even know if I'm a warrior or a college student."

Will looked at her long for a moment, then nodded abruptly. "I believe you."

 _We don't even know our names_. Reyna thought with a cold blast of realization. _We don't even know who we are._ Reyna shuddered, then looked back at Will. "Are you in love?" Reyna asked.

Will had already turned around to leave, and Reyna saw his whole body freeze up. He was painfully tense, and he didn't even turn around to look at her. He was silent so long Reyna believed he wouldn't answer, but then his voice interrupted the stillness.

"I don't know."


End file.
